As some may know, Mass is in the throws of the debate over gay marriage. Mass State Supreme Court says legalize it, Mass congress is debating the issue as well as using civil unions, the Mass Attorney General wants civil union, religious groups want all homosexuals to go away forever, etc. The list is endless.

Well, I think we should up the ante and take this federal. Why let the states muck around willy-nilly when good ol Uncle Sam can step in.

Gay marriage detracts from the institution of marriage. Well then, I say lets take a look at other things that also demean marriage. How about celebrity overnight (or pre-lunch as it may be) marriages? Or Elizabeth Taylor, how many husbands has she had?

I propose that we make marriage between celebrities illegal, immediately.

What about divorce? That is pretty bad also, isn't it? Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the nation at about 2.4% per annum. Nevada has the highest at about 9%.

I say, we take away the right of the state of Nevada to issue marriage licenses. Too many divorces, makes marriage look bad.

The Mass State Attorney General argued, in court, that the primary purpose of marriage is procreation. This is one of his core arguments against. Lets run with this, why stop at gay marriages? Women over 50 can't have babies (at least not reliably yet), so why are they getting married?

No marriages to women over 50, no more, problem solved.

Oh yeah, how about those people who get married then don't have children? Lets get them also. All married couples must produce 2 children by their 5th year of marriage. If by the end of 5 years they have not, they will be forced to adopt 1 or 2 children to make up the difference, or their marriage is immediately terminated.

Yeah, I think that will help protect marriage as we know, and love, it.